I tried on a light wheelchair to move around Junction 8 on Monday. Sherena has been encouraging me to take up a wheelchair for travelling long distances and coincidentally her friend using a light wheelchair dropped by and Sherena arranged for me to try on her friend’s wheelchair.

The first 15 min or so moving on the wheelchair in the office and lobby was ok, probably because it’s on flat terrain and there was no one around. After sufficient warm-up I decided to head for J8 shopping mall downstairs. I realised that many people was looking at me or I would say peeking at me. probably thinking “oh poor boy, so young on wheelchair le”. (I do look young even though I’m already 23 years old.) The feeling wasn’t great, I felt slightly inferior, to be so low in the public, hidden among the crowd.

I understand that the sympathic look indicate their care and concern, I’m just not used to it. or may I just overly sensitive.

When I tried to roll up the small slope into the lobby while I was heading back to office, I wasn’t able to do do quickly and the automatic sliding door was closing on me. Kinda scary, fortunately 2 kind ladies quickly stood near the sensor to open to door. I wonder if I would have been crushed by the door, or if the door would be crushed by me.

Then Sherena came down and asked me to try the very steep slope leading to Bishan MRT. A not so good experience. The slope was extremely steep when I looked at it siting on the wheelchair. I didn’t manage to get up the slope. I can;t row my wheelchair fast enough and as soon as i release the wheel to roll up, I was sliding back. I was just just gripping tightly to the wheel in the middle of the slope (actually only 1/4). Again there’s a emphathetic and kind gentleman who pushed me up the slope. If not I would have rolled down.

Then I’ve to wheel down the slope to go back to the office. Going down was equally scary. I was worried that I might just flew off the wheelchair if I let go too much. So I was there gripping to the wheel tightly and letting go slowly over many intervals. Despite Sherena motivating me to let go I can’t do it. I was too scared. Only let go fully when I was near the flat surface.

Quite a bad experience. The more cruel part is I realized that a wheelchair is so limiting in improving my mobility. Yes, I do move faster than walking but it doesn’t last. My hands got tired quite fast. I started panting after pushing for 30 minutes. Furthermore, once there’s a steep slope, I would be done for. Sherena said I can always ask people for help if I encounter steep slope and in fact I won’t encounter steep slope all the time.

Hmm, guess there’s many tradeoffs to move faster, hard to consider. In actual fact, I don’t want to be on a wheelchair yet. logically it’s better for me but emotionally I want to walk as long as I can. Even if I fall down, I still wanna walk, walk till the day I can;t walk anymore..
Dilenmasssss!!!!!