Met up with Gilbert and Alex for dinner at Chomchom yesterday. We ordered a very big spread of local delights (Kangkong, satay, stingray, chicken wings, shells, oyster egg) and ate to our fullest. It was a great meal.

Then explored a bit around the area to find nice chill-out place. To our dismay, the ktv pubs are quite "uncle" there and they play mainly hokkien song. (not that we have anything against hokkien songs, but we all sing chinese songs, so it might be a little out of place). Then decided to just go Bliss @ punggol park to have some wine. Jonathan joined us for bliss. After that we found that it's warm and humid there and decided to go KTV @ hougang green. However, the ktv rates were not favourable so we ended up drinking beers at the coffee shop. I didn't drink much and was quite quiet. I guess perhaps I'm shagged out by the travelling.

As I was walking with Alex, we discussed abit about my condition and me getting a wheelchair. He's very supportive and shared with me positive opinions about using a wheelchair. I touched that he said that even if I'm on a wheelchair, they will still bring me around to chill out and taking care of me. In fact I know that they will because we are best buddies. They are concerned about my condition because they realized that I'm been deteriorting quite a bit recently..

Walking around is indeed more difficult for me now and it gets dangerous sometimes, especially when I'm alone. I'll consider a wheelchair more seriously these few days.. Well, I won't get melanchonic over this, it's holidays afterall.

I just ordered 3 books on kinokuniya webbook:
1. The little prince
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
3. 20 Greatest Philosophy books

I think they will be delivered to me on wed or thurs. Looking forward to reading them :)

I found this blogskin and I simply love it, especially when it's coupled with the song Sanctus 2 by Libera.

Went to Hougang point to have dinner with Jonathan and Alex. It's like about a week since I last stepped out of my house. I was shocked that just crossing the road made me so tired, along with the worry that some cars would horn me for crossing the road so slowly. Thank goodness that I reached the other end in time. I felt so bad that Jon and Alex waited for me for quite long.

Then settled down for dinner and drinks with them. I always enjoy their company. Though I'm a person of little words, I'm always so amused to be part of chit-chat with them, time just flies. After the drink, as we were leaving kopithiam, I lost my balance and fell down. The other people around me thought I was drunk. I was not and my buddies have to help me explain that I'm inconvenient in my movements. They helped me up and as I slowly walked on, the on-lookers accused them for not holding onto me while I walked. It's not the case!! It's because they know that I prefer to walk without support. Jonathan and Alex, I'm so sorry for that and sorry that I did not turn around to explain to the on-lookers. I'm quite disappointed that I did not have to "courage" to do that.

Then we continued to walk to my house. The short distance was hell for me. I couldn't feel that I was walking. My walking speed was so much slower that I've to cross the road with the time for 2 traffic greenman. I was panting and sweating just walking home. This is really bad. I've weakened noticeably since the holidays started. Although I appeared nonchalent, I'm sad down inside.

I started to ponder if I should get on a wheelchair. With my reduced ability to walk smoothly, I realized that I've developed some kind of phobia to go out and move around in public. Now, the thought of me having to cross the road panick me. I wonder if a wheelchair will make me feel more secure. I've been avoiding this consideration because I want to walk as long as I can and I don't want to burdened my family and friend. Whenver I think of a good point of using wheelchair, many negative feelings and thoughts overwhelme me.. Guess I'll just monitor for the time being to decide what is best for me..

It has been a really long while since I last blogged. Anyway, for some reason, I'm back to blog again.

Having my summer vacation now. It's so long.. fortunately I'm taking up a summer class philosophy and it's starting in about 5 weeks time. Can't wait for it to start. I've been staying at home all these while. Kinda feel unsafe to go out.

I've been thinking quite alot lately. My body seems to get noticeably weaker again. It's getting harder to walk about. My body has been feeling stiff all over. My mood is kinda affected by it.. started to consider using a wheelchair again. It's a struggle inside me, hope I'll see the light soon.

School wise, I can't help but keep thinking about my 2nd major. I'm considering between finance and marketing. Honestly speaking, I'm not really interested in finance, or rather I've not really been exposed to finance so it's a new thing for me. However, it seems like something useful to learn and get into and the prospect is quite good. For marketing, I've some interest in it but it seems like the career in marketing requires active interaction with people and creativity, which are some factors that I'm weak in. Furthermore I can't imagine myself doing a marketing job. I hate to coordinate events and talking with external people. Anyway, somehow, it seems like I'm tending towards finance. Initially I thought it was because of Bernard that I wanted to take finance. I guess it's not the case. It seems like it is something I want to try. It'll definitely be challenging for me, but I believe it's worth trying. I'll consider for a few more days before confirming my choice.