I found this blogskin and I simply love it, especially when it's coupled with the song Sanctus 2 by Libera.

Went to Hougang point to have dinner with Jonathan and Alex. It's like about a week since I last stepped out of my house. I was shocked that just crossing the road made me so tired, along with the worry that some cars would horn me for crossing the road so slowly. Thank goodness that I reached the other end in time. I felt so bad that Jon and Alex waited for me for quite long.

Then settled down for dinner and drinks with them. I always enjoy their company. Though I'm a person of little words, I'm always so amused to be part of chit-chat with them, time just flies. After the drink, as we were leaving kopithiam, I lost my balance and fell down. The other people around me thought I was drunk. I was not and my buddies have to help me explain that I'm inconvenient in my movements. They helped me up and as I slowly walked on, the on-lookers accused them for not holding onto me while I walked. It's not the case!! It's because they know that I prefer to walk without support. Jonathan and Alex, I'm so sorry for that and sorry that I did not turn around to explain to the on-lookers. I'm quite disappointed that I did not have to "courage" to do that.

Then we continued to walk to my house. The short distance was hell for me. I couldn't feel that I was walking. My walking speed was so much slower that I've to cross the road with the time for 2 traffic greenman. I was panting and sweating just walking home. This is really bad. I've weakened noticeably since the holidays started. Although I appeared nonchalent, I'm sad down inside.

I started to ponder if I should get on a wheelchair. With my reduced ability to walk smoothly, I realized that I've developed some kind of phobia to go out and move around in public. Now, the thought of me having to cross the road panick me. I wonder if a wheelchair will make me feel more secure. I've been avoiding this consideration because I want to walk as long as I can and I don't want to burdened my family and friend. Whenver I think of a good point of using wheelchair, many negative feelings and thoughts overwhelme me.. Guess I'll just monitor for the time being to decide what is best for me..